His wife...

He has to get home to his wife...

Rip my chest open, pull my heart out, throw it on the ground and stomp on it...

I both hate and love him for his devotion to his wife.

I just wish it were me.

Repent!

Does anyone else think that the end of the world is near?

I'm not one of those loonies who stand outside of airports with sandwich signs saying "The End is Near," but I'm beginning to think they are right. Iraq, Iran, North Korea...what a fucked up, fucked up world we are living in. School shootings. Global warming. Sexual abuse of children. It makes me long for the 1950s, even though I wasn't born for a decade after that.

Watch (or even better, read) the news and see how much of it is good. Or not even good, just not bad. It seems to me that since 9/11 the world has gone drastically downhill and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it.

True Love

I know true love.

Love that is pure. It expects nothing. It is pure appreciation for another person.

I look into his eyes and I see true beauty. He's not good looking by conventional standards but to me he is the most beautiful person in the world. He is beautiful both inside and out.

He makes me happy just by being. I look at him and am instantly happy. Even if he is across a room I feel warmth from him.

I will probably never have him but I still don't regret loving him. My love for him is the most beautiful part of my life.

Motherless on Mother's Day

This is my fifth motherless Mother's Day, and it hasn't gotten any easier.

For week, all you hear is Mother's Day, Mother's Day, Mother's Day. Around this time of year just about every merchandisable product is marketed as the perfect Mother's Day gift. Some are goofy, some downright stupid, others touching. All hurt.

So that's how they do it!

Psychic update:

Apparently, all these online psychics have a super secret MSN message group where they exchange information about all the poor schmucks who employ their services. They know that those types tend to psychic-hop in the ultimate quest to Find Out The Truth.

Lesson learned. If it seems too good to be true -- it is.

Experimenting

No, not with drugs.
With psychics. Which can be just as addicting.
My friend introduced me to the website kasamba.com, where dozens and dozens of people claim to be able to tell you the future, as well as how your dead relatives are faring in the afterlife. As one who has always been obcessed with death, how could I resist?
Some of them are pretty funny. Do my parents have any messages for me? I asked one. Go ask God, she told me after collecting my $10. Another told me that the man I have a crush on is my soulmate and that will will have a long, "joyful" life together. Too bad we are both married to other people and he has no idea of my secret crush.
But then there was this one other psychic...she's scary. I asked her about a dead friend, and she told me that he was dead in his house for weeks before being found, which was right! A couple other dead right details like that has left me scratching my head.
Could it be true? And if they can do it, why can't I?

Give me a break

There's parrots making nests on the telephone poles. That could cause power outages and fires, the utility company says. The birds have to go...but they can't be relocated. They can't be adopted. They can only be killed.

What a sad world this is when life -- any life -- is held in such little regard. Sure they're only birds. They're animals whose fate rests solely in the hands of humans. And that sucks big time.